My Darkest Time

I haven't written this blog for a while and there has been good reason. A lot of stuff has been going on and with it a lot of changes. My husband out of the blue, losing his job; my dislocation and broken ankle three days after my husbands insurance ran out and the stress that goes along with all these changes.

I wrestled whether or not to write this but thought that if I did, it might help others who have experienced and/or are experiencing the same thing.

I've had some traumatic times in my life (as most of us have), but my darkest and most difficult time was this past November 2, 2009 when my beloved husband, Fred, had a very sudden heart attack and passed away suddenly; 4 days before my birthday and 5 days before his. Healthy as a horse and full of life he was, and all of a sudden my present life changed and therefore what I thought, would be my future. We were married for a very long time (since we were kids) and my life forever will never be the same.

Those of you who know me and/or who have worked personally with me know that my belief is that your mental attitude is everything. Your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions create your reality. My biggest challenge is to take one moment at a time and stay in the present. If I let my mind wander to the future, it's too shaky and terrifying because my new future does not match the template of what once was.

We are all faced with challenges every day. Some more challenging that others. My advice to all who are going through those challenges right now is to stay connected to loved ones, reach out for help (yes...we have to learn how to receive, not just give). You may find yourself one day one of the less fortunate and have to be on the receiving end.

Here is some of the best advice I can give you all who are going through some painful challenges now: The pain comes from losing the familiar life we once new (not just the grief of that loss). *Take one moment at a time. *Try not to let your mind go towards the future, but take control over it and force it to stay in the present because tomorrow is created on how you feel today. *And for heavens sake, don't stress out about the future. Stress kills! Keep focused on where you want to go, not where you have been. Stay in gratitude and keep busy. *Find what makes you feel passion and do it daily *Have courage, develop your strengths, let go of make believe weaknesses and last but definetely not least......Please develop your faith. Things happen for reasons we cannot always understand (some day we will). Where once I had a future book that was written, now stands an open book with empty pages; but I can write on those pages what I want and create my own happiness. I decide what destiny I want. My destiny, despite everything, is happiness; and between my grief and tears, that's exactly what I intend to create!