What a Ride! I'm understanding every day now that we need to exercize the brain as well as the body. How can our lives be different if our minds don't change? To change the mind takes a lot of work. I'm learning to be consistently putting my thoughts on something that makes me feel good. The weird thing is that by doing it, my life does tend to get easier. This has been such a challenge to have a such a different life suddenly be dropped on me. My mind has shown me that it wants to think in ways that are most familiar to me; but if it stays that way, I'm not feeling any better. If anything it just gets worse. So, it takes a great deal of practice to keep noticing where the mind takes me and be consistently changing it. But it does work. I do notice my spirits lifting and with that my life changing. Sure...people have disappointed and surprised me but there is a lot of good coming too. I'm moving on...........I've learned perseverance, determination, courage, seen strength and have learned things I thought I never could. I'm looking forward to every new day. Blessings are in each one. :)

Ready Or Not!

It's been so long since I've written but something called to me. I'm a very private person and for some reason because of the work that I do and so many people have been helped, most people feel that I'm invincible. Different somehow. That I've evolved (or morphed) into this being that is untouchable and things don't bother me the same as everyone else. I had a client once tell me that they wish they could be just like me. When I asked them what they meant, they stated that I seem to be so peaceful and nothing seems to bother me as much as other people. I quickly explained that we are all the same and that I use what I've learned every day to try to look at things differently so that I can feel better. I've always been the one to help others and for the past two years I've had to learn to reach out and ask for help which has been very difficult for me. I've gone through a lot in my life (as has many others), so don't confuse that statement with saying that I'm "special" or "different" somehow, because I'm not. I've overcome a lot from my past but I'll tell ya the biggest blow and shocker of all was when I suddenly lost my husband a couple of years ago. This was more shocking since Fred was always healthy as a horse and nover got sick. As a matter of fact, he just went to the doctor and was quite proud to come home to tell me that the doctor said he was in such great shape he needn't come back for 3 years; so I was not prepared (as many are not) and am still recuperating. It still feels like a nightmare but I'm getting used to it. I'm lucky enough to have my daughter whom I'm very close with, still decide to stay or I wouldn't be writing this now. A long time ago my Aunt once told me that when you lose your husband, people will act different towards you. Never experiencing anything like that at the time I could not and didn't want to believe she was correct. Now that I've experienced this, I now see where she was coming from and surprisingly enough, in a lot of cases, I have to agree with her. Maybe they get uncomfortable or don't know what to say so rather than risk feeling uncomfortable themselves, they refuse to help when help is needed or avoid you all together. But there are choices we can make to look at things differently too. As a kid it was drilled into my head never to ask anyone for help so I never could. I've since learned that it is okay to not only ask for help, but let go of the shame attached to it. I've reached out and asked for emotional support and help and have been very surprised at people's re-action and avoidance whom I have helped many times in the past.If people can't or won't, it's because they have their own agendas and I choose not to take it personally; however, it's difficult to keep that attitude at times. On a spiritual lesson, I've learned a lot about myself and what I do/do not want plus will/will not allow in my life. Seeing a gigantic black bear in my yard the other day caused me to look at boundaries that needed to be placed in my life and made me realize how fearless I really am. (Or crazy for rescuing my dogs and thereby endangering my own life!) When you love something or someone that much, I think we all, without thinking of the consequences re-act because we don't want to lose that love. It's hard to write about this because I'm not used to being outwardly vulnerable. I've decided to write my words to help myself sort through my feelings I keep inside with the hopes that it will help many others who are going through and have been through some very tough times. Just like everyone else,I get scared and angry. I am human after all and allowing myself to recognize and allow those feelings have helped me move out of them. We, as humans, will all experience changes in our life that will feel horrible; but that's life. You can't avoid it. I've worked on my issues from the past all my life because I really feel we need to change ourselves first. This work has helped me so much that it has grown into a passion to help others create and develop a much happier, and successful life too. You see...we never get to the end of this growth. We continue because our life changes all the time. Those changes will force our old unconscious beliefs up to the surface so we can either hang on to them or realize they aren't helping us and give us a chance to change them. I choose to believe that there are better things in store for me. Even though I feel like I'm back in Kindegarden with "schoolhouse Earth", I now have a do-over. I'm learning more about myself every day and "through God, all things are possible". For all those who are experiencing some intense changes right now, hang in there. Try to stay focused on more of what you want for yourself and in your life. You'll be challenged but you can overcome and you will if you sincerely choose to. If this has helped one or more of you, then I'm happier for opening up and allowing myself to be more vulnerable. Ain't an easy thing to do, is it?

We're In A New Year of Growth!

Ok. Last year for severely tumultuous so this year I'm naming it "tremendous 2011!" I realize how much I've changed and am more willing to accept the way my "new life" is moving. Heck, you can either accept the changes or fight it every step of the way. Since losing Fred, I now find myself single, perhaps moving and creating more friends, business associates as well as building a number of businesses. Since I know that I create my own reality, I am determined it will be a happy one and will have faith that even though I don't have a clue on where my journey will take me, this year will be the best year ever!

So many people (including my clients) are having severe changes going on now. Remember that things are not what they appear. If something negative is going on then something positive is also happening simultaneously. We just always have to be willing to see the "good stuff" that is happening so what we want will appear in our reality sooner. So if you think about it...I do know what my future will be like; since I'm creating it for myself now!

Freeing Free Will..Correcting Your Perceptions

Changing your perception is the key to happiness. Most people are programmed to look at everything that happens to them objectively (outside of themselves) instead of subjectively (inside themselves). We learned to focus our attention on blame. We can't control everything that happens in our life, but we can learn to understand our perception's participating role in the way we experience reality, and learn to control our re-action to what is happening. One thing I've learned is to "respond" instead of "re-act". When we re-act to something, we are usually coming from fear. When we respond, we are coming from the present and therefore we are more in control of our emotions. We therefore feel empowered over instead of enslaved under our emotions. We actually do have "free will" to choose how we live our life. For more information on upcoming events and courses log onto www.erikaduffy.com or www.freeingfreewill.com.

My Darkest Time

I haven't written this blog for a while and there has been good reason. A lot of stuff has been going on and with it a lot of changes. My husband out of the blue, losing his job; my dislocation and broken ankle three days after my husbands insurance ran out and the stress that goes along with all these changes.

I wrestled whether or not to write this but thought that if I did, it might help others who have experienced and/or are experiencing the same thing.

I've had some traumatic times in my life (as most of us have), but my darkest and most difficult time was this past November 2, 2009 when my beloved husband, Fred, had a very sudden heart attack and passed away suddenly; 4 days before my birthday and 5 days before his. Healthy as a horse and full of life he was, and all of a sudden my present life changed and therefore what I thought, would be my future. We were married for a very long time (since we were kids) and my life forever will never be the same.

Those of you who know me and/or who have worked personally with me know that my belief is that your mental attitude is everything. Your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions create your reality. My biggest challenge is to take one moment at a time and stay in the present. If I let my mind wander to the future, it's too shaky and terrifying because my new future does not match the template of what once was.

We are all faced with challenges every day. Some more challenging that others. My advice to all who are going through those challenges right now is to stay connected to loved ones, reach out for help (yes...we have to learn how to receive, not just give). You may find yourself one day one of the less fortunate and have to be on the receiving end.

Here is some of the best advice I can give you all who are going through some painful challenges now: The pain comes from losing the familiar life we once new (not just the grief of that loss). *Take one moment at a time. *Try not to let your mind go towards the future, but take control over it and force it to stay in the present because tomorrow is created on how you feel today. *And for heavens sake, don't stress out about the future. Stress kills! Keep focused on where you want to go, not where you have been. Stay in gratitude and keep busy. *Find what makes you feel passion and do it daily *Have courage, develop your strengths, let go of make believe weaknesses and last but definetely not least......Please develop your faith. Things happen for reasons we cannot always understand (some day we will). Where once I had a future book that was written, now stands an open book with empty pages; but I can write on those pages what I want and create my own happiness. I decide what destiny I want. My destiny, despite everything, is happiness; and between my grief and tears, that's exactly what I intend to create!

Think of your Mind Like a Car!

Hey....here is a good analogy. Life is a journey. Think of your mind as a car. It goes where you aim it. It takes you where you want to go. It may get sidetracked. It may have obstacles that you manoeuvre out of the way; like balls running into the road, children, other vehicles etc. but you don't let anything get you unfocused towards your destination. That's how you should focus when you desire something in your life. Don't listen to negative people, news or anything that gets you focused on what you do NOT want. ONLY keep your mind focused on one thing only....Your desires! For your life follows your most predominate thought; whether you want it or not. If you keep tabs on what you are focused on, then you can control where your mind is going; instead of it controlling you!!! Then your desires will materialize a heck of a lot sooner! Life is a journey...Enjoy it! :)

The Dangers of Dieting!!

It has recently come to my attention that most people really don't have a clue about free radicals and antioxidants and what the heck they do. They don't understand what the body goes through when they diet and yo yo back and forth.

Can you describe what is a free radical? Do you know the value of antioxidants and why it is imperative to eat a ton of them daily to prevent illness and disease? If you don't, I suggest you learn. What food choices do you make every day? What emotion is behind those choices?

People have been asking me to do another teleconference and I'm choosing this subject. Hey, watch the weight come off fast and understand the mind/body connection!! Stop dieting folks. Make better choices and eat less.
Knowledge is power but does nothing unless you take action!

Live long and prosper! :)