What a Ride! I'm understanding every day now that we need to exercize the brain as well as the body. How can our lives be different if our minds don't change? To change the mind takes a lot of work. I'm learning to be consistently putting my thoughts on something that makes me feel good. The weird thing is that by doing it, my life does tend to get easier. This has been such a challenge to have a such a different life suddenly be dropped on me. My mind has shown me that it wants to think in ways that are most familiar to me; but if it stays that way, I'm not feeling any better. If anything it just gets worse. So, it takes a great deal of practice to keep noticing where the mind takes me and be consistently changing it. But it does work. I do notice my spirits lifting and with that my life changing. Sure...people have disappointed and surprised me but there is a lot of good coming too. I'm moving on...........I've learned perseverance, determination, courage, seen strength and have learned things I thought I never could. I'm looking forward to every new day. Blessings are in each one. :)

Ready Or Not!

It's been so long since I've written but something called to me. I'm a very private person and for some reason because of the work that I do and so many people have been helped, most people feel that I'm invincible. Different somehow. That I've evolved (or morphed) into this being that is untouchable and things don't bother me the same as everyone else. I had a client once tell me that they wish they could be just like me. When I asked them what they meant, they stated that I seem to be so peaceful and nothing seems to bother me as much as other people. I quickly explained that we are all the same and that I use what I've learned every day to try to look at things differently so that I can feel better. I've always been the one to help others and for the past two years I've had to learn to reach out and ask for help which has been very difficult for me. I've gone through a lot in my life (as has many others), so don't confuse that statement with saying that I'm "special" or "different" somehow, because I'm not. I've overcome a lot from my past but I'll tell ya the biggest blow and shocker of all was when I suddenly lost my husband a couple of years ago. This was more shocking since Fred was always healthy as a horse and nover got sick. As a matter of fact, he just went to the doctor and was quite proud to come home to tell me that the doctor said he was in such great shape he needn't come back for 3 years; so I was not prepared (as many are not) and am still recuperating. It still feels like a nightmare but I'm getting used to it. I'm lucky enough to have my daughter whom I'm very close with, still decide to stay or I wouldn't be writing this now. A long time ago my Aunt once told me that when you lose your husband, people will act different towards you. Never experiencing anything like that at the time I could not and didn't want to believe she was correct. Now that I've experienced this, I now see where she was coming from and surprisingly enough, in a lot of cases, I have to agree with her. Maybe they get uncomfortable or don't know what to say so rather than risk feeling uncomfortable themselves, they refuse to help when help is needed or avoid you all together. But there are choices we can make to look at things differently too. As a kid it was drilled into my head never to ask anyone for help so I never could. I've since learned that it is okay to not only ask for help, but let go of the shame attached to it. I've reached out and asked for emotional support and help and have been very surprised at people's re-action and avoidance whom I have helped many times in the past.If people can't or won't, it's because they have their own agendas and I choose not to take it personally; however, it's difficult to keep that attitude at times. On a spiritual lesson, I've learned a lot about myself and what I do/do not want plus will/will not allow in my life. Seeing a gigantic black bear in my yard the other day caused me to look at boundaries that needed to be placed in my life and made me realize how fearless I really am. (Or crazy for rescuing my dogs and thereby endangering my own life!) When you love something or someone that much, I think we all, without thinking of the consequences re-act because we don't want to lose that love. It's hard to write about this because I'm not used to being outwardly vulnerable. I've decided to write my words to help myself sort through my feelings I keep inside with the hopes that it will help many others who are going through and have been through some very tough times. Just like everyone else,I get scared and angry. I am human after all and allowing myself to recognize and allow those feelings have helped me move out of them. We, as humans, will all experience changes in our life that will feel horrible; but that's life. You can't avoid it. I've worked on my issues from the past all my life because I really feel we need to change ourselves first. This work has helped me so much that it has grown into a passion to help others create and develop a much happier, and successful life too. You see...we never get to the end of this growth. We continue because our life changes all the time. Those changes will force our old unconscious beliefs up to the surface so we can either hang on to them or realize they aren't helping us and give us a chance to change them. I choose to believe that there are better things in store for me. Even though I feel like I'm back in Kindegarden with "schoolhouse Earth", I now have a do-over. I'm learning more about myself every day and "through God, all things are possible". For all those who are experiencing some intense changes right now, hang in there. Try to stay focused on more of what you want for yourself and in your life. You'll be challenged but you can overcome and you will if you sincerely choose to. If this has helped one or more of you, then I'm happier for opening up and allowing myself to be more vulnerable. Ain't an easy thing to do, is it?